Do you remember when you were a kid and your parents kept nagging you to hang around “the right crowd”?
I know I do. In fact, my brother was the bigger concern for my parents. I seemed to just do my own thing.
But the reason that our parents made sure we weren’t getting into trouble by hanging around the wrong crowd is because deep down they knew that environment shapes us!
We become who we spend our time with.
I’m going to take that one step further by saying that you also become who influences you.
That means listening to trashy radio, watching the news (all the time), and reading newspapers and magazines (which pretty much all have negative foci) shape you and your subconscious mind.
Conversely, listening to empowering audios, reading uplifting information (like this blog), and watching videos/shows/presentations/movies that build you up can be amazing!
In fact, I’d say 50% of my peer group consists of audios and books from mentors I’ve never even met. I probably spend more time with them than I do most of my friends. And I love it that way!
As I mentioned up top, I’ve never been one to have a large group of friends. Instead, I have always had a tight group of close friends. I’ve never been into gossiping or wasting time sitting around talking about girls with a bunch of guys who have nothing better to do with their time.
Back in the day…when I spent most of my days in the gym (training clients up to 14 hours a day) I would purposely remove myself from my fellow trainers because I DID NOT WANT TO BE LIKE THEM!
I knew that wasting my time with was NOT going to help me get to where I wanted to go.
I knew (and still know) that humans are very impressionable. Think about how babies learn – by modelling their parents and other influences!
But not much changes as we age.
In order to fit in and be accepted by our peers, we “sacrifice” our uniqueness and give less importance to what makes us US. We simply want to be part of the group.
It’s only as we mature and become more conscious of who we really are and what we have to offer this world that we allow our true potential to really shine through.
But let’s get a little more specific…
If Your Peer Group is Fat You Probably Are Too!
I’m not kidding!
This has actually been shown scientifically. I recall learning of a recent study that showed that even having a friend (who is not overweight) who has a friend who IS overweight (ie. 2 degrees of separation) increases your chances of being fat by 20%!
And this is a 3rd party friend you don’t even know!!!
The power of proximity, or your peer group, or your environment – whatever you want to call it – is one of the greatest influences on all areas of your life.
That’s one of the reasons I’m so grateful for this blog (and for my company) – it’s given US a platform to provide a positive, empowering, and healthy environment for everyone to benefit from. That’s one of the reasons that I also require that you participate in the comment section.
You play a big role in your health AND that of your “virtual friends”.
Anyways, to elaborate on this topic and provide you with some more important on the power of your peer group, please watch this video…
I find this to be very true. I have been slowly “seeking” those people that have the same goals and life style I want to accomplish and its been alot of fun learning and growing.
Great post! Community is VERY important and actually directly cause you to live longer. We grow with their critiques and we smile with their company.
i have to laugh because a) I know your right but b) I spend so much time walking and dealing with our two dogs that I see my craziness mirrored in theirs. One is antisocial and the other is deaf
Paul B
Lyons il
funny…and worth sharing with my family…bless you and your pups
I tutor college students and work out daily at the YMCA. Both groups are highly motivated to succeed mentally or physically and for the long term. Seeing my YMCA groups moving vigorously to Zumba rhythms motivates me to keep up with them and master the movements. Helping students with essays helps me to fine tune my own writing skills, which I am now using to write stories and plays.
These people I associate with are definitely having a strong influence on me to attain my goals.
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27
Sharpen me like a utility knife, Yuri!
I see how this can be very true. Now that I have been surrounding myself with people who aren’t working towards the same goals that I am …and are pretty much the exact opposite, I have gotten further from my goals.
I don’t have too many friends but I watch a lot of soccer and the players are the ones who inspire me. I read about their work outs and the disciple that is needed to achieve the goals
definitely true for me. My friends and I all decided to support eachother and go to the gym together. Before then, none of us cared at all about fitness or health.
Getting outside your comfort zone is a choice we all need to make at one point or other.We become like all the others or we really chose to be “ME”.
I chose”ME” from the beginning and found a life partner that wanted the same.
We have been married 39 years and have quite a story to tell our grandchildren about.
Thank you Yuri for being unique.You do speak from the heart and that is rare in today’s society.
I try to do this as much as i can by surounding my self with fit people and trying to do what thay do. But it dose no help because they eate and are less active then i am.so i just end up picking frinds that have the lucky straw on there side.
I have surrounded myself with lots of motivational speakers, fittness experts, and yourself, I get emails everyday from all these people, and it does help me to focus on what I want
In school I can see that I’m changing towards my friends, you’re right.
I’ve got a good, strong and consistent workout partner now and when he’s training when I’m training, I tend to lift more and harder!
It’s always important to surround ourselves with others who can influence us for good. I’m reading a book called “Facing Your Giants” by Max Lucado right now…and he retells a story of a triathalon he completed. He began by running the 13.1 miles with a guy who was constantly complaining…about how “dumb” his decision to do the triathalon was….etc.. to which Max promptly said “goodbye” and sought out the company of someone more positive. He found a 66-year old grandmother who encouraged him to take one step at a time, to finish the race, to hang in there. What a difference she made for him. Proverbs 15:22 says “Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed.” Your counsel and informative blogs/resources have been GOOD, and they are helping many people (including me) to succeed at building a healthy lifestyle. So, thank you!
While my family is supportive, I’ve found the online community to be helpful. Receiving emails every day from various people, Yuri included, are daily reminders to keep trying and I’ll achieve my goals. I probably would have given up by now without them.
Brilliant observations, Yuri, and great food for thought! We are social beings and this tendency to become like those with whom we surround ourselves is a reality that, once we realize it, can be used to our great advantage. I’ve found it to be so true in the spiritual plane as well as in the fitness plane. Thanks for this provocative post! I enjoyed reading what you said about fat people, too, though it seems harsh (and I wouldn’t shun someone who needed my friendship or help just because of their weight), but it is true that we don’t hang out with a lot of obese people on a regular basis.
Hanging out with people who have a positive influence on your life is great, but how about being the positive influence in somebody else’s life? A rewarding experience.
This is true, none of my family are overweight nor my friends and all have been and are active people. I’m not either but need to trim down a bit just now to run faster.
Fuuny though, my closest friend spends much of her day on a breathing machine and in a wheelchair and she is the most inspiring person I know. He struggle and determinaton to lead what is active life for her and to go to work in an office 3 days a week and my running goals are not so far apart. We talk about these things and use positivity to help support each other. Its not always quite what it seems with people but if they support you and are positive and enthusistic with you its amazing.
Great food for thought Yuri. First of all I loved seeing your dog being so chilled on the couch!
Totally agree with what you have said. When I was younger I always tried to be nice to everybody or wanted people to like me. This made me do things that wasn’t me. Now that I have actually moved country (different reason though) and actually started spending more time with myself to figure out what I really wanted lots has changed. I have been reading great books and started to change my life. Now it even becomes easy to choose not to be around people that are negative. I even don’t watch the news anymore as it is mainly all negative and I would love to see more joyous news.
Thanks for this great video!
Hi Yuri, great comment & good ideas. HOwever, it can be difficult to choose your social environment. It can be hard to meet inspiring people as I find they are kind of rare. You have to carefully engineer your social environment & often breaking into positive groups can be hard. But I do agree that it;s important. And I think we can change our environment without own approach and attitude & inspire other people.
It’s all true, Yuri. Very good point. Best way to learn to master a subject is to seek out mentors who are achieving a high level of success in that subject, and to learn from them. Emulate them, pick their brains, get consulting from them, learn their techniques. We are social beings who learn from each other.
Then, to really reinforce what you are learning, teach others who have the same desires as you. This is here the true level of joy comes in. To share your journey and to inspire others along the way you have been inspired and taught closes the loop and makes the circle of life complete.
I have found this to be true in my own life.
I laugh as I realise my peer group is other mothers – other twin mothers especially! But I must say they are pretty much all slim and trim and mostly all professional women working part time in with the kids…we are different in our food choices, but similar in most interests and life views…interesting!
Wow, thank you so much for sharing this with everyone. It is how I have believed and tried the best to live my life by the values and ideas you are talking about. One crucial factor in my demise was I was surrounded by a very negative self centered ego centric and dominating man. Yes as you probably guessed it is my father. I had amazing friends when I left home and had a very fulfilling life and then the bomb it. My parents broke up. I was asked to move to my Dads to help out and yes- I did it. I believed in the whole family first and my responsibility to my family which is all well and good if it is for the right reasons and under the right conditions. This should get a laugh, he asked to come home because he worked long hours and the 2 (outdoor) dogs needed to be watched. They were both German shepherds. Like they needed watching lol. Anyhow what I am getting at is the environment created by family and friends is truly vital to the health of a person. I was just diagnosed with severe adrenal syndrome and told my Nervous System is so shot that if I were to see an accident I could have a heart attack and die. That is pretty bad and scary. This is due to the fact that i was surrounded by a negative and dark environment. I am in mexico trying to gain strength via your book and info and following exactly what you are saying by surrounding myself with those who are positive and uplifting like yourself. You are actually an instrument in this process I have begun. Again thank you
Agree 100% with all that you’ve said. I’ve been very fortunate to be raised by parents who encouraged me to be me and not be influenced by outside sources, to think for myself and to stand up for myself and what’s right. During high school, this meant I was often not included in certain activities because I didn’t “fit” the mold of the people in the group. I was OK with this. Now my parents are of another generation and family was everything. But today with both parents working, or many families split up, that same influence is often missing from the parents so kids look for acceptance with their peers and this will often lead to poor choices in life.
I work with middle school students and see the environment they are in make a dramatic difference both the social environment and the classroom environment. I strive to reach those students who need encouragement and that can spill into my social circle too. Your video reminded me to surround myself with encouragement for my goals as well.
Yuri, you are inspiring! My husband and I have been in alternative health for over 30 years. It is tough at times to try to make patients understand how very important it is to stay positive and always look forward and not back. We are the ones that they pull from and sometimes it can drain us, but we keep hanging in there in hopes that if we can get through to just a few they will have a better life. We do find that our base of friends is small and family is very hard to reach at times, they seem to follow and believe the mass. I do agree with many comments on this post that the internet family is much more supporting then most people around us and I thank you all for that it’s what keeps me grounded most of the time (and my wonderful husband, he has always kept me grounded). Keep up the good work Yuri, you have it all together.
A great article/video! I agree that environment and peers really do influence you. It reminds me of when I was a teen and always said, “I will not become my mother.” Well, at 47, I can certainly say that I have become my mother! Thanks for sharing you insight and I’m looking forward to Tuesday’s announcement!
I take it that that’s a good thing??
I’ve found that most people can’t support you in your success b/c they just aren’t in a place to understand the type of person you have to become to achieve success. Surrounding yourself with a good support system is crucial.
Any time I feel my group is pulling me to the wrong end, I have been lucky enough to been able to stay behind and do my own think.
I always come back when they are back to making good decisions
The phrase “Misery loves company” comes to mind, also “Birds of a Feather, flock together.” This very true and takes investing time looking into and doing something about changing your environment.
I absolutely agree with everything you said!! I limit my exposure to negative people or people who do not have the same goals I do. The more positive, energetic people I hang with, the more positive and energetic I become. It’s contagious!!
I agree, you tend to do things that your peer groups does. so if they are not active people, it’s highly likely neither are you. On the other hand if you hang out with active people, theyn you probably are active and somewhat fit. Having a large diverse groups of peers can be difficult, you may want to hang out with the non-active on day and then the active the next.
I moved halfway across the country a bit over a year ago. I haven’t really made a whole lot of friends here — haven’t really tried all that hard.
But I have a lot of virtual friends on sparkpeople.com — they are part of what keeps me going and trying to reach my goal, for sure.
In my case, specifically, I’m trying to push past a long plateau and lose the last 10 pounds. I hadn’t thought of specifically seeking out those who are already at their goal weight and following them . . . I’m not sure how to do it, but I will try!
I am also a Weight Watchers member, and that also helps a great deal.
What doesn’t help is my husband, who isn’t at all into fitness or healthy eating, altho he’s taking a few baby steps of his own. So how do you deal with something like that? Definitely not ready to divorce my husband!
That’s a tough one Judy. I would suggest talking to him about how important eating well and being active is to you. Hopefully, once he sees how much it means to you, he’ll do more for you then he will for himself.
I find that I “faction off” those people who I am forced to associate with (typically work, etc.) and use online resources and books, recordings, etc. to help me reach my personal goals of eating healthier, exercising, and pursueing inner as well as outer fitness.
I believe you are so right. I surround myself with God-loving people who support me and and I them in our Christian walk. It is the same with healthy living. I love it when I am with my friends who care about what we put into and how we care for our bodies. It makes it so much easier and they often inspire me… Just like your messages. Thanks!!!!
Thank you Yuri, Your talk is transformational on many levels and makes soo much sense. I find your talks very inspiring, thank you for sharing your wisdom soo freely.
It does make it harder for one to keep to his/her goals when in the company of people who do not care for those goals, or worse in the company of people who wish to sabotage those goals. It is, however, possible to be yourself and let others be themselves. The hard part is knowing that other people that you love and care about are doing themselves a great disservice.
I have only to recall my daughter’s teenage years for an example of just how much influence a peer group can have! (Thankfully, with time, core values triumphed for her.) I work with a wonderful group of people/friends but none exercises or eats healthy. While they envy my level of fitness, they don’t want to do what’s needed in order to effect change, even when their health suffers. Change has to come from within, I think. The only person in my small family who shares my enthusiasm for fitness is my daughter, but she lives in Europe, although my husband certainly supports me. Generally, no ‘live’ peer group has either limited or influenced me, although I’ve always been the independent sort. I use online resources(such as yours) for education and encouragement and find that is very effective. Thanks, Yuri!
I think that once you get conscious of what you want, when you realize that this is your life, YOU have to make a Choice, either you follow the crowd, or you be yourself.
For me, I realized they werent aiming for what I was, so I still hung with them, just doing my thing, eating healthy and moving. With the differences, I realize more of who I am and want to be and do my thinng, consequently, time spend with my friends has change loll.
Awesome video Yuri! Thank you for your explanation!
omgdess this is sooo what i am living right now. I’ve found that even the moods of another that lives with me can bring me down or raise me up depending on what type of vibration they carry! Thank you so much for posting on this.
It is soo damn true what Yuri said about the sports teams not being as good as other and the reson being the negative vibes in and around the teams and the out come is often very unsucessful. man, every time i want to do something or try something new, eat healthy or keep fit some people in my family always feed me negative vibes. i hate it. but i want to regain some of my individuality and keep as far away as possible for these kind of people until i have reached my goals, then they can talk all they want.
yuri you the man!!!!!!!!!!
they are ok. I do better than they do though +1
interesting article!
It is true Yuri! After I watch your videos for quite a while afterward I walk around thinking in a Canadian accent. No kidding! We mimic the people we spend time with and admire.
It isn’t easy finding like-minded people when you are on a RAW FOOD diet but you push on as long as your partner shares your goals.I no longer converse with the disbelievers about food choices & simply watch them get fatter & nearer their funeral plots.
Yes, some of my friends, and many in my family have encouraged me to start working ot
I moved to a new country a year ago and have just started to realise that some of my new friends I have made aren’t that postiive and have begun to spend less time with them, and more time reading or being online. Now i need to make the ‘leap’ to finding others that are more postiive and want to achieve their goals like i do.
So true! I’m very lucky to have friends that are amazing!
Nice, my work is “rubbing” off!
I don’t hang out with any real hard bodies and I stay generally average in re to my physic and right now I am ok with that…because its managable in my environment. Somewhere inside of me is a longing to experience a fasting state for longer than a day and remaining on a raw food diet for a period of 40 days. To know the true, undefiled flavor of food. I’ve read so much about this lifestyle just haven’t taken the leap.
I made a roast the other night that a good friend of mine made for me and I knew my husband would love it. Notice my friend made it so I made it for my family. It was very hard for me to buy the lipton soup packets (fake fake fake) but it got less painful as I peeled the potatoes (normally if I serve I leave peels on for some nutrients) and boiled the heck out of them just like my friend did. See my friend is 70 and just does what she likes now. I am almost 40 and raising a family who will hopefully appreciate one day my educated food choices. Interesting and thought provoking…thanks
Peer pressure among women is great. If your friends don’t exercise or eat healthy, you won’t either because they will think you think you are better than them.
I hope my little piece will help you make your goal. I want to have the right influence to help me reach my goals & that is why I have gotten into your e-mails. I enjoy them immensely & they prod me to try a little harder.
That’s great Elisabeth. Glad to be able to help you out.
I did comment, but it was removed?
Sorry Charlie. I hit the wrong button by mistake.
Thanks to Mr YURI.Nice article
My childhood friend once told me that I wasn’t fat, just chubby. I now have an eating disorder (not anorexia or bulimia) but it is associated with OCD. I eat, sleep and speak health, food, weight, fitness. It actually affects my job (as I am at work right now). I recently joined the FitterU program after spending thousands of dollars on anything and everything I thought might help. Just shows how “friends” can affect your life.
Yuri, I can relate to the peer group mentality and pressure. The people I hang around with and sometime eat lunch or dinner with make comments such as “you want to look like so an so” (this person that they name is one step from being anuraxic) and I sometimes feel down or that my peer group may not be the best example company to keep. A comment like that makes me think about a college professor that was giving us a pep talk about how to survive in college. The comment I rmember is “don’t hang around skunks because pretty soon you will start smelling like them, ancting like them, thinking like them and people will think that you are a skunk.” The group that I mention is a group I some times have lunch with, so I realy don’t see myself as a skunk, I may need to distance myself from them.( You Think.)
If you count my family (husband, 4 kids, oldest married) as my peers, it is hard as they don’t all eat like I do and I still have to buy, fix, and smell their food. It is hard at family gatherings,as I am sometimes tempted to eat their food as it looks and smells good (not meat, though) and I used to enjoy it. It is also hard at church functions, but they all know I eat weird now.
Yuri, I love reading your inspirational messages every day. I signed up to grow a relational marketing business two years ago with a simply amazing company and have found the people, the conferences, meetings, etc. so inspirational and life changing. Your daily messages just reinforce the messages I listen to in my car every day and the personal growth levels that I am achieving through my business. Thank you. Great job.
it is so true! i have seen it in my own life & in my childrens lives. when i have been around positive people-it is much easier to reach my goals(like feeling sure-footed on a hiking path). when i’m around negative people-it is so hard to reach my goals(every day feels like such a struggle) my two sons are exact opposites: one is very up & all his friends are the same-they all seem to be doing quite nicely in their lives; the other is down low always in trouble & so are is friends-going nowhere all of them.absolutely perfect examples of that which you speak!
for sure!!! thanks yuri. nancy
So true! Company can be stronger than will power. Very important point. Good reminder. Thank you!